Using Her Pen
by GRACE5
Summary: Future D/L


"Mom, I don't want to go to Dad's." the seven year old whined as he stomped his way down the hallway to his room to pack.

"You have to," Lindsay said as she gathered his gameboy and iPod and bringing it to him in his room. "And what did I tell you about stomping."

"Sorry." He groaned as he threw clothes from his closet onto his bed next to his over night bag. "This sucks."

"Watch your mouth." Lindsay warned as she folded the clothes and put them in the bag neatly.

"Sorry, this stinks." He said as he sat on the edge of the bed and put his shoes on. "Tomorrow, we were all actually gonna play stick ball in the street like they did in that movie Kiley always makes us watch." Lindsay smiled she knew the only reason Jax actually watched that movie was because he had a crush on Kiley, even though he refused to admit it.

"Yeah?" Lindsay asked as she continued to fold. "Maybe your dad will let you come back early then you can go to back to his place."

"I don't like this, I don't like going back and forth." He said as he sat on the bed his head hung in defeat.

"Jaxon, look at me." Lindsay said kneeling in front of her son and waiting for his blue eyes to meet hers. "I'm sorry, if I could keep you all to myself I would, but your dad loves you, he wants to see you."

"Who cares what he wants." Jaxon said as his mother kissed his forehead then stood back up to put his gameboy in his bag, but handing him his iPod. "I know what he did, I don't like him for making you cry."

"What?" Lindsay eyes widened as her voice became high pitched. She noticed her son started to develop a certain dislike for his father, but she had been trying to work through it with him, his father was a bad boyfriend, not a bad father. She also knew how protective her son was of her and that's why he often liked to torture her dates. "Jax, what do you know?"

"I know he cheated, I know you still cry at night sometimes because of him." Jax said turning to his mother looking her right in the eye. "I know I was a mistake and you'd be happier if I hadn't been born."

"Oh Jax," Lindsay said as she heard his voice crack, she hugged him close to her and kissed the top of his head, running her hand up and down his back trying to soothe him. "That's not true, you were not a mistake, and you make me the happiest any one has ever made me. You understand?"

"Yeah." Jax whispered wiping his eyes. "I wasn't on purpose though."

"No, no you were a surprise." Lindsay smiled as she wiped a tear away on his cheek. "But I was happy when I found out I pregnant with you, have you ever heard the phrase 'the light at the end of the tunnel'?"

"Yeah." Jax said confused as he waited for his mother to finish her story.

"You were that light, things between your father and me weren't that happy, but when I found out I had you, I was happy." Lindsay said as they walked out into the living room to wait. "He was happy too."

"Yeah because he thinks I'm like Ruben and he can make it better." Jax sneered as he dropped his bag by the door.

"Who the heck have you been talking to?" Lindsay asked, she knew she had never told her son any of this information for this reason, he gets something in his head and can't let it go.

"Uncle Don, he was drunk though, it was funny." Jax smirked as he sat on the armrest of the couch. "She wasn't as pretty as you, even Uncle Don said so."

"Thank you, I think." Lindsay said as she went into the kitchen to get a class of water and take Advil, all this was giving her a headache. She groaned when she heard a knock come at the door, she hated saying goodbye to her son, she's been doing it for about five years and it still hasn't gotten any easier.

"Hi dad." She heard Jax say as she walked back into the living room.

"Hey buddy." Danny said picking up the bag. "Hey Montana."

"Hi Danny." Lindsay said with a smile, they had learned to be friends with a kid, so him calling her Montana was old news. "Come give me a hug and kiss Jax." Lindsay said as she squatted to hug her son and kiss his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too." He said and kissed her cheek before he walked away to stand near his father. "Daddy can I come back tomorrow to play stick ball?"

"Sure." Danny said looking at his Lindsay, knowing he had missed something.

"Bye Mommy, c ya tomorrow." He said sweetly as he walked out the door next to Danny.

"Bye Linds." Danny said closing the behind him, leaving her alone. She sighed knowing Jaxon would call Danny out sometime soon. "So stick ball?" Danny asked as they stepped in the elevator.

"Yeah." He said as he put the iPod in his pocket and the cord around his neck. "I don't really want to like you, but Mommy says I should."

"What?" Danny asked confused as they exited the building and headed towards the subway.

"You cheated, you make her cry." Jax said narrowing his eyes at his father. "I love her and you don't, you hurt her."

"How do you even know this? Flack tell ya?" Danny asked as the train started to move. He knew Lindsay would never tell any of this to their son, and he knew Flack could be an idiot sometimes. "That was like 8 years ago."

"Doesn't make it better." Jax said as he watched people exit and enter as they reached the next station.

"You understand this boy, I love your mother, don't you ever say I don't." Danny said sternly as he squatted in front of his son, forcing his eyes to meet his. "I messed up, I know that, I never wanted to make her cry or hurt her. There is a lot of things I would take back," Danny stopped he didn't want to get deeper into this with his seven year old. "It shouldn't have happened, but I can't change it, but I'm happy how I am now, with you, even if that means I never get your mom back."

"Were you happy when mommy told you she was pregnant?" Jax asked a minute or so after.

"You saved my life." Danny said stroking his son's cheek. The night he had gotten Lindsay pregnant had not been a good one, they were both drunk, hurting, and angry, they ended up at her place until the alcohol wore off, then she kicked him out, saying she never wanted to see him outside of work. He had been in a dark place for a while, his doctor had put him on antidepressants and he had become borderline alcoholic. Then three months after that night she totally freaked on him for using her pen and she'd said something along the lines 'it's your fault I'm acting like a crazed lunatic, you got me pregnant.' Shocked was an understatement, but he still believed that if she had not told him she was pregnant, he wouldn't of ever came out of his hole.


End file.
